Dear Friends,
Yet again God has richly blessed me beyond all imagination during my time at Kapsowar. He blessed me in fulfilling my educational goals, my spiritual goals, and He led me in further maturity and intimacy in my relationship with Him.
The educational goal of my time in Kapsowar was to learn to take care of pediatric and NICU patients in a resource limited hospital. This goal was met in full. I cared for preterms (as young as 24 wga and 600 grams), hydrocephalus, myelomeningeocele, severe dehydration, malaria, bruciolosis, dysentery, parasites, typhoid, pneumonia, milliary TB, AIDs, cutaneous larva migrans, bacterial meningitis, respiratory distress, respiratory failure, constipation, nephritic syndrome, rheumatic heart disease. I spent time counseling and talking to 6-12 graders on drugs, alcohol, premarital sex, health, purpose/life direction, a relationship with Christ, how to stay pure as a Christian, and other concerns they had.
My spiritual goals were to be Christ to my patients and the hospital staff, and to encourage and strengthen the missionaries who I’d be working with and learning from. I at least tried to do all of these, and my hope is that God uses even my feeble efforts to have accomplishes all of these things during my time in Kapsowar. Because of the language barrier my ability to have the meaningful spiritual conversations I desired was hindered. So I committed to at least praying with each of my patients instead, so that at least they would sense God’s love and involvement in their care. And God blessed even this simple offering. Niger was definitely more resource limited, but not by that much. And the patients were just as sick at Kapsowar. All of the patients I took care of on the pediatric ward improved and went home (except for the ones still admitted when I left). None were transferred (One with new onset seizures we referred to a neurologist in Eldoret for brain CT and EEG , and another we recommended follow up in Eldoret if his hepatosplenomegaly didn’t resolve in a month since he had improved from his acute illness and symptoms) . None died (just NICU patients, and many of them wouldn’t have survived in the US either). Many cases I had at least a guess of what I was treating, but I was rarely as sure as in the US where I can order a million tests, yet we were able to put them on some sort of therapy, and they all improved. God was able to reveal His power and greatness to both me and the patients, by my simple willingness to involve him in the physical health of the patients by pleading with Him individually, cases by case that we’d know what we were treating, that the medicines would work and that the child’s health would improve.
The remainder of this letter is my testimony of what God has been doing in my life (both in Kenya and in the months leading up to Kenya) and how He was been maturing my relationship and trust in Him, in preparation for the next season of my life:
God put overseas medicine for the purpose of increasing his kingdom, on my heart in the ninth grade. Since then I’ve been focusing on both serving him today and preparing for His calling on my live. Now I’m 6 months away from the completion of my training, nearly 15 years later. God’s provided numerous opportunities for me to serve him as well as to grow and mature in my faith and my ability to serve him as a physician.
You grow a lot overseas while serving in a foreign culture. Resources are different. Names of medicines/types of medicines available are different. Labs and imaging are limited. The food is different. Religion is different. Acceptable dress/ clothing/ attire is different. Relationships between people and gender are different. Relationships between people and gender are different. Gender roles are different. Outlook/perspective on life is different. Work ethic is different. Values are different. “Strength” is men may be valued in two different cultures---but what that looks like/means varies from one culture to the next. Language is different--- even when it may still be English: accent, word order, and meaning of word phrases are different. Political system is different. Security is different. Corruption is seen in different areas of the national/ political system/ government--- in different ways. Travel is different. Technology is different. Response to death and life is different.
Through all these differences you have to find yourself and the one uniting factor--- Christ. But even an intimate relationship with Christ may look different across cultural lines.
Now I’m in Kenya. Most recently I was in Niger (in June 2012). Niger has probably been the most challenging place I’ve been because there was a double language barrier as well between me and the locals. The full impact of that month hit me probably 3-4 months ago. I had a really hard day, at the end of which I was doubting God’s goodness. I knew God was there and that He’d sacrificed everything so that we could be united with Him, but I felt like since I told him I’d do whatever he wanted to help Him increase his Kingdom--- then he was asking me to give up everything—all my desires, hopes and deep longings.
The next day I allowed Him to remind me that that was all a lie. Part of the problem was that at some point during residency and life in the Bible belt I’d caught Entitlement syndrome. He says all you who are weary and heavy laden, come follow me and learn the unforced rhythm of grace. For my burden is light. That means that though we give up everything and every moment of the day we are “full”: we have joy and an unexplainable energy and strength surges from the depths of ourselves.
In that moment I gave up everything and gave Him my all, striving for balance, sustainability and life---And found it.
I realized the key was in fulfilling our purpose. Doing what we were created to do.
I was not created to heal people physically (only God can). As a follower of Christ I was created to help lead people into spiritual healing and an intimate relationship with God. Fortunately, as a physician I realized that spiritual healing is actually the true source of physical healing in many ways, due to the way God created the human body, mind, and spirit.
I started noticing the clinic and hospital encounters where I’d both had and taken the opportunity to address the underlying spiritual issue of their medical condition left me feeling more energized, rather than emotionally and physically drained—as just treating the physical aspects of the sick and dying did.
What does this have to do with Kenya?....I’m almost there.
So reflecting back on Makunda, India (Feb 2011, Jan 2012)--- it’s a very busy hospital. It’s a very poor area. Workers burn out fast. The Indian physicians who started it and have run it for the last 18 years have given their entire lives to God’s work there. Yet how many have come to know Christ personally due to all the believers sacrifice’s—I’m not sure. And how sustainable is that intensity of work--- I’m not sure…But the thought of myself continuing to work that much brings upon me an overwhelming sense of dread.
Niger was the same. A lot of people to see. Not many resources. A lot of death. (In defense of the workers both in India and Niger is that Islam has such a hold on the hearts of the people the Christians are trying to reach there as compared to the people in Kenya. The spiritual work of Kenya is more like that in the Bible belt in US, mostly challenging nominal Christians into a more mature faith and a personal relationship with Christ. Whereas the spiritual fertility of the people hearts in Niger and north India is more like the US West coast or the East coast. You’re trying to till up the soil and plant seeds in concrete).
In that moment 2-3 months ago, when I doubted God’s goodness, all the dread of an unsustainable life of sacrifice was overwhelming me and crushing me.
But through Kapsowar Hospital in Kenya I’ve seen life and sustainability. The hours are the same. But the individual patient load is less—and has allowed for a deeper relationship with the patients and more opportunities for speaking truth into their lives. And these encounters energize rather than drain, enabling more strength to passionately seek more opportunities to love the people I serve and help them find life, truth, and Christ.
I have hope for the future, I’m excited for where God leads me next year, and I’m eager to help more hurting people know the fullness of life God intended for us all.